There’s been a lot of talk lately about how new internet-based technologies are about to put paid to a golden age of reporting and commentary. The tech gurus would have us believe that old-school, experienced craftsmen will soon be dinosaurs, rendered irrelevant by the rise of interactive social networks like Facebook and LinkedIn and Twitter.

Not so fast, my online Friends (and Followers). Your pokes and your hashtags may rule the roost at present, but social networks and citizen journalism are no replacement for old-fashioned, high-quality content generated in-house by dedicated full-timers. Which is why I firmly believe that, whatever the New York Times et al may tell you, blogging still reigns supreme.

Unsinkable, like Das Boot

You know me by now, dear readers: I don’t like to boast. But I was there at the start of the new millennium, in the heady dawn of the web-log revolution, one of a new breed of wide-eyed dreamers who dared to hope that we could take on and defeat the monolithic might of the discredited, liberal, dead-tree print media. We fought, and we won. All over the world, newspapers are closing down, one by one, as right-thinking people realize that anyone with a smart phone and a lick of common sense is better than the slouching, boozed-up “news-gatherers” who hold themselves out as the “gatekeepers” and “watchdogs” of “fact”. I mean, puh-leeze!

Now it seems that Rupert Murdoch, a man whom I have long admired, is finally coming around to my way of thinking. Taking the initiative, he has just proactively closed down the News of the World, a 168 year-old British-based tabloid: no doubt he will build on this promising start and purge his portfolio of further newspapers, probably in order of seniority. Next to go, the Times of London! One hopes its bastard New York offspring won’t be far behind!

Rupert Murdoch: Visionary, leader, entertainer and friend

The fact is that to a clear-eyed visionary like Mr Murdoch, this “phone-hacking” fuss is not a crisis, but an opportunity. While the Manchester Guardian was stirring everyone up with its hysterical blather about victims of crime and terror and their so-called right to privacy (maybe if we all had a bit less privacy, there wouldn’t be any crime or terror: ever think of that, victims?)  Mr Murdoch was craftily offloading his Myspace social network onto a pelvis-thrusting filth-merchant named Justin Timberlake. Good on yer, Rupe, mate! You know a dead dingo when you see one, and how to flog it!

Mr Murdoch is clearly convinced, like myself, that social networks and newspapers will soon be equally obsolete, thrust to the margins of public discourse by a rejuvenated phalanx of taut, penetrating blogs such as the one you see before you.

Now, I’ve had my problems with News Corp – as you will recall, I was recently “done over” (as I believe they say in Wapping) by one of its scurrilous London tabloids. Nevertheless, I feel in my heart that the architect of Fox News is a man of principle and of honor, and for this he will surely be rewarded, in this world and the next. The only way for you to go now is up, Mr Murdoch, and I’d love to come along for the ride! I hear you’ve lost a few good people lately, but if you ever need a new friend or, say, a consultant, you know where to find me (hint: www.blow-back.net!). Because you know darn well that I, Flint Driscoll, will always have your back!

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Sad to say, dear readers, I may be out of touch for a week or two. I’ve had an e-mail from some friends of friends in Afghanistan, local freedom fighters who are promising me exclusive access on an embed mission across the frontier into the Tribal Regions of Pakistan (whoops! shouldn’t have said that!) I was a bit suspicious at first, but their e-mail mentioned a few mutual friends in the CIA, so I guess they  check out okay. Also, they’ve promised to reimburse me for my travel expenses – these blogs don’t come for free, brother – which proves they are serious people.

Anyhoo, I may be out of coverage for a few days of the trip, so I can’t promise to be able to offer my usual five star online commentary, 24-7. While I’m away the site administrator, Cass Umtak, will be fielding any enquiries etc, so please don’t be shy about getting in touch. Because blow-back.net never sleeps!

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Hi, y’all.

I don’t want to be alarmist or anything, but have any of you heard from Flint, lately? Just send me a message/feedback along the usual channels. I guess I’m stressing over nothing, but it sure would be a relief to hear that the big guy was still in touch.

Thanks, Cass Umtak

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Hello. Cass Umtak here, web master for blow-back.net. There is still no news of the whereabouts of Flint Driscoll who, you will recall, went on a facility trip to Afghanistan several weeks ago. If any of you out there in the Flintosphere have any word of him, please let me know here. I’m sure that Flint is fine – he knows how to handle himself – but it is truly tragic that we do not have him to guide us through these dark and turbulent times. God bless you all. Cass.

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Please, give them anything they want. Signed: I, Flint Driscoll

Allahu akbar! God is greater than the enemy!  Having made his way under false pretenses to Ghulam Khan in Waziristan, the infidel in this photograph was heard to boast freely in the bazaar, the maidan, the hammam and the Starbucks that the infamous American murder attack in Abbottabad in May was a sham and a lie to boost the apostate Barack Hussein Obama, and that in truth our beloved leader and guide, Osama bin Laden, peace be upon him, is not dead, but is instead somewhere hidden in France! Clearly, only a high-level American/Zionist spy could have access to such top secret information about this evil conspiracy, and though he tried to change his story when our fighters apprehended him and questioned him,  it was too late by then for him to lie his way to safety.  We also found incontrovertible truth of the plot on two files on his computer, here, and here. Know this: if the beloved teacher Osama bin Laden is not returned to us safely and soon, this Godless American worm will pay with his vile head. Allahu akbar!

Personal message from Flint Driscoll:

Please for the love of God give these good and kind people everything they want. They have persuaded me to divulge the access passwords to my blog, twitter account, facebook page, and bank accounts, including the one which I am currently setting up with my new friend from Nigeria. They say that, armed with these codes, they are now in a position to launch a devastating cyber attack on Washington DC. Further demands and instructions will be posted here on this blog; I have obtained permission to help them with grammar and spell-checking, so as not to compromise the high standards you have come to expect of blow-back.net. I must go now: they are hitting my typing fingers with a knotted rope. Flint Driscoll.

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